Balancing Life

It’s not easy!

I’m sure there are people who know me and think I’m crazy for starting this blog. Aside from its very personal nature, I have a few other commitments that don’t leave me much “free time” to start blogging. And, what do I have to say about anything?

Right?

Let me think about it: I work full-time. I have two school-aged kids. Both kids are in karate and working on their black belts (that means class three times a week). My husband works full-time and commutes an hour each way to work every day. I need to find time to cook and clean. Oh, and exercise. Let’s not forget exercise.

Wow, I’m tired just thinking about all that!

But, really, it’s just life.

Think of what YOU have going on? I’m sure your list is very similar.

Me Time

I try to get to the pool on Mondays and Wednesdays; goal is to be in the pool by 7:00 pm. It’s close enough to my house that I can get a good 30-40 min swim in (close to a mile), shower and be home before 8:00 pm. Well, the last couple of weeks I haven’t been going. Which really sucks because I just renewed my very expired membership.

So, this past Monday I was ready to go. My bag was packed and my menu was planned for dinner so that it would be done early enough for me to get out of the house by 6:45pm.

Then it all unraveled.

I had a few issues come up at work and I left 15 minutes late. I got an email that a prescription we had been waiting for was now ready. And so must have everyone else because we sat in the Walgreen’s drive-thru for over 20 minutes. We didn’t get home until 6:15pm - 45 minutes later than normal.

My youngest said he needed help with his math homework (thank God it’s not Common Core!) and we agreed I’d help him once I got dinner in the oven. Got the brussel sprouts & sweet potatoes in the oven, prepped the walleye for broiling. Husband gets home and he ends up helping with the math. (That was interesting!)

Dinner ready when? 6:45pm

<sigh>

OK, if you really know me, it wasn’t a sigh. It was more like “SHIT!”

After eating, it’s onto permission slips and payments for field trips, parent-teacher conference registration, practice run of lines and final costume checks for the upcoming play this week. AAAGGGGHHH!

Before I knew it, it was 8:00pm.

No swimming. Shit!

The Original Power Lunch

The other thing I do to make time for everything is to use my one hour lunch to make as much happen as I can. On any given day, I’ll do the following: work out (at home), empty the dishwasher, get dinner started in the crockpot, run errands/groceries, have a work-related meeting, get a massage, write a blog post…

I find myself often using that 60 minutes to pack in as much as possible so I have time for “other things” in the evening, after work.

I know - sounds crazy. My work colleagues think I'm a bit crazy and I think a bit anti-social because I'm not commingling in the lunch room every day. But, this is how I work, people!

Prioritizing MY Stuff

One thing that I’ve learned on this journey is that I need to prioritize. Remove the "optional" and save for later (OK, or never). Obviously my husband and kids are of the utmost importance to me. That goes without saying. But, what about the other stuff?



Remember my post about PERFECTION?

I had this delusion about what my house would look like: perfectly clean (even with a dog!), everything has a spot & it’s where it needs to be at all the time, floors so clean you can eat off of them.

Yeesh…

Reality set in when you factor in everything you try to fit into a day. Whether you have a job outside the home or not, it’s not easy keeping a house perfectly tidy when you have kids. Don’t anyone try to convince me otherwise. I’ve had my share of cleaning ladies to help me out over the years in my strive to have this perfectly clean home.

If you were to stop by unannounced, I guarantee you’ll see dirt on my floors (yes, visible), sticky counter where breakfast was eaten, dishes in the sink (clean & dirty), mail piled up on the counter(s), shoes everywhere, clothes scattered along the path of my youngest, cups in the living and maybe a few other dirty dishes as well.

You know what? I don’t care! Cleaning is NOT my priority. There. I admit it!

I’m often asked about meal planning. How do I find the time to plan out our meals? My response: how do I NOT have the time? Did you just read about Monday night? Yeesh… Imagine then trying to figure out what’s for dinner with two kids that are starving (their words, exactly).

Menu planning saves me time. It’s a priority for me to plan so we eat healthy, home-cooked meals (read: avoid take-out). I'll share more on my meal planning strategies later.

So, food - priority. Check.

Exercising is important to me. It makes me feel good about myself. It makes my body feel good. It helps me sleep better at night. It keeps my stress levels down. (I could write a whole post at how I’ve solved all the worlds problems while swimming a single mile!)

Exercise. Priority. Check.

When I don’t exercise, it doesn’t mean that I’m a failure. Or, that I’ll never exercise again. Or that I’m a sloth, un-motivated, etc.

Nope. Just means on Monday, being Mom took the top priority.

Mom. Priority. Check.

On the Other Hand

I truly believe that I am my own worst enemy. I tend to ponder and reflect on other options.

You know what would’ve been fine on Monday? I could’ve gotten home when we did and announced “Eggs for dinner!” or “Sunbutter & jelly for dinner!” and the boys would’ve been just fine. I could’ve helped my son with his homework while the other was making sandwiches. Then, I’d have gotten out the door by 6:45pm to get my swim in.

I probably would’ve forgotten about the field trip slips (which were very close to due) and would have put off the conference registration until it’s deadline.

But, I didn’t. And, to be honest, I didn’t even think of that option until now. (Dangit!)

I could argue, on the other hand, if I wasn’t at work all day, I’d have those slips ready much sooner. We’d have been heading to Walgreen’s at 3:00pm rather than during the busy after 5pm rush. But, I do work - I have a career which I enjoy; it's part of who I am.

Or, I could take the items with me to work and get them done there. Sure… Been there, done that.

I could take a day off of work to get caught up on things around the house. But who wants to waste a vacation day like that? I don’t! I don’t get enough to begin with so I’m certainly not about to do that.

I could just say forget swimming! Nah… I don’t like that hand. I love to swim.

Balance is the Key

As parents we often feel guilty when we do things for ourselves which may appear to put your own needs ahead of your child’s or spouses. Doesn’t it?

We believe that we must surrender ourselves to our child’s needs upon their birth. And, to a degree, that is true. At birth. As our children grow up into little people, we need to realize that they are going to model our behavior. What better lesson to teach them is there aside from self-worth and self-respect?

I don’t expect my kids to think I’m Wonder Woman. I’m NOT! Nor do I wish to be Wonder Woman. (Although, the invisible jet would be really cool!) I expect my kids to see that I can be a loving, caring parent to them while at the same time ensure my own mental, physical and emotional health is as good as it can be.

Sometimes, that means dashing out the door so I can go swim.

Other times, it means that it’ll be a few days before I can get my mermaid action in. That’s OK.

It’s all OK. My transformation and weight loss goals WILL happen. Just maybe not at the lightening speed pace that I'd like.

Do Your Best

What are you trying to balance right now? Think about it. Feeling a bit overwhelmed or stressed?

Well, the holidays are fast-approaching so if you’re not feeling it yet, I’m sure you will so. I

What I tell people when they confide in me how overwhelmed they are is this:

Try not to over-extend yourself. Make a mental note of your priorities now - before the craziness begins - so you can reflect back when you need re-grounding.

But, most of all, remember:

Don’t let the perfect become the enemy of the good!

Take care…
-Anne

Oh and if you didn’t notice, this post was written on a Wednesday. Yes, I got to go swimming tonight and it felt really good. Funny thing: When I got home, 80’s music videos (the songs of my youth!) were playing quite loudly. I took one step into the back door and I heard: You’re in the jungle baby…

HA!! How true…