Perfection? Or is it more like Good Enough?

What does the word PERFECT mean to you?

According to Merriam-Webster, PERFECT means:

Adjective

• having no mistakes or flaws; completely correct or accurate; having all the qualities you want in that kind of person, situation, etc.


• {I like this one: having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.}

Verb

• to bring to final form; make (something) completely free from faults or defects, or as close to such a condition as possible.

What about these words?

Ideal. Without fault. Flawless. Impeccable.
Pristine. Precise. Accurate. Unblemished.

PERFECT...

Quite a strong word.



When trying to initiate a change, whether it be about our lives, work, family, we often tell ourselves that we’ll give it 110%. We get "the ideal" pictured in our minds and we work so hard towards that goal. We try to be flawless. We assume that we will not fail. Am I right? You do that, don’t you?

Think about resolutions for the New Year; we get all gung-ho on change. But, did you know that only 8% of New Year’s resolutions are actually achieved?

Why do we let ourselves do that? Why do we continue to try to make changes but don’t do what is necessary to make them stick? Are we setting ourselves up for failure?

Last year, when I started on my transformation journey, I realized I had something major to overcome: my need to be perfect.

You see, I had it in my mind that I had to follow a "plan" 100%. No slip ups. No room for errors. None of that. In order for my transformation to take place, I had to be perfect. Only perfection would achieve the results I was looking for.

That made perfect sense. (pun intended) Was incredibly logical. To me. Then.

Now, I read that and shake my head. Wow, have I grown!

Even at work, I'd often find myself trying to make sure everything looked or was formatted just right. I once had a manager who'd remind me, "Anne, it doesn't have to be perfect. Just make it good enough." I still struggle with this but that's mainly because I prefer most of my work formatted a certain way. I justify it as my "signature". OK, maybe I haven't grown as much as I think.

But I digress...

I think I've mentioned before that I hired a coach to help me get started with my transformation. Coach Cinnamon Prime helped me work through what she called my "blind spots". Perfectionism was certainly one of them (I didn't realize I had this need to be perfect). I learned that it's about the small changes that you make to achieve your goals; it’s the process. Pardon the cliche: It's about the journey.

She helped me realize that I need to get through the here and now vs. worrying about what's to come or, in some cases, what happened in the past. I learned I don't have to be perfect; I just need to be better. And, do a little better each and every day.

I enjoy reading other blogs and personal stories, especially when it comes to a body transformation that includes transitioning a family to eating real food. That's where I came across this one blog - and honestly, I cannot remember the name of it - where the writer shared a statement.

I must not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

 

Wow ...

Seriously - do you get that??

Enemy ... Think about this: When you decide to make a change, you expect it to be perfect right out of the gate. You don't think about how hard it may be. You may focus on the result: how you'll feel, how you'll look, etc. But do you think about the journey? All the steps between here (today) and there (the goal)?

NO! You don't. At least, you normally don't.

It's not going to be easy. It's going to be HARD. It's going to be tough. It's going to be ugly.
Perhaps we need to think about change as a process rather than a single event. Rather than toss out all the processed food out of the house, take a step back and make a smaller goal. Don't set yourself up to fail. Set yourself up for success and accomplishment.

Trying to eliminate sugar? Start with processed sugar; replace your baking with natural sweeteners such as pure maple syrup or honey. Then, start looking for hidden sources of sugar in sauces. Find recipes or other brands which don't contain high fructose corn syrup. Now, look at breakfast food: cereals, breads, etc. Repeat finding other brands or recipes to replace the sugar in those Eggo's. Find some other breakfast foods that you'll enjoy over these (like bacon!).

Let me tell you about something that happened to me…

I've learned through all of this that I'm very sensitive to gluten. But, every now and then, I'd like to have a beer. A real beer.  An ice cold seasonal Leinenkugel's sounds good about now. None of that gluten-free or hard cider crap. I want a Leinie's.

The "Before Me" would order that beer and maybe have another. A few hours later, I'd notice some joint discomfort. I'd think to myself, "Well, I'm already sore. Might as well have another." [or a piece of bread] The next day, I'd be walking around like I'm 81 (vs. 41) and mad at myself for letting this happen. I'd pity myself and, perhaps, blow away the day being a lazy sloth. I'd maybe even continue down this spiral and have something else that has gluten in it.

I mean really: The day is already blown from my original plan. Why not?

<Ever do that?? Just throw in the towel and give up?>

This could go on for days. Then, I get on the scale (after avoiding it for days or weeks) and realize that I've gained at least 5 pounds. I get really bummed. I think about that beer that started it all and come up with excuses for each morsel of food I ate that made me uncomfortable. (Because, it wasn't my fault in this mindset.) I stop exercising. I lose my spark and overall energy. I continue to spiral... I would think about what a failure I am and how I've wanted so badly to be this great role model for my kids and others. I'd start a pity party thinking about how it would be so easier if I didn't have to avoid gluten. Maybe, if I keep eating it, the discomfort will normalize and I can just go back to the "easy life".

Easy Life. Ha - that's a good one! Easy Life meaning morbidly obese, inactive and unhappy with myself.

Then, I remember:

I MUST NOT LET THE PERFECT BE THE ENEMY OF THE GOOD

Ah yes... Then that darned voice of Cinnamon Prime rings in my mind and I remember that the one beer I drank doesn't mean a dang thing. But, I let it mean something. I let my choices (good, bad, indifferent), lead to me believing that I was a victim. And that I was weak. That I couldn't just move on. I let one thing turn into a gazillion meaningless things.

I'd like to believe that the "Today Me" would order that beer and drink it with appreciation. If I get sore or experience discomfort, I have a few options for remedies which I know will help. This mindset has been helping prevent another one of those downward spirals. And, I do this because I remember how shitty I felt before. My brain remembers. My joints remember. The choice I make is mine. Not anyone else’s.

Those memories pull me out of the slump. Yes, the slump may last a bit longer than I had hoped. But it does end. And I pull up my big girl panties and move on. This isn’t easy to do. Trust me. I realize I make it sound quite simple. But it has taken many months of practice. And, guess what, I’m still not perfect!

I must not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

It doesn't have to be perfect - it just has to be BETTER than what it was before.

Some people think it's an all or nothing approach to starting a new goal. No pain, no gain. Whether you're trying to feel better, alleviate symptoms due to an illness, or trying to lose weight - it doesn't matter. Making incremental changes will provide you with benefits!!

Please, take this phrase and make it your own. Write it on a post-it note and put it on your fridge or up on the wall at work. When you get down about a goal you're working on, look at it and let it remind you that it is okay to be "good enough".

Perfection is not required. Defects appreciated and expected.

Important Note:

Prior to publishing this post, I decided to search for this quote as to ensure I could give credit where due. While I have not found the original blog I read (thought I had pinned it), I did find that a brief article by a woman named Gretchen Rubin. I have yet to read more about this woman but you can find her over at http://www.gretchenrubin.com/.

Turns out this quote, which touched me so profoundly, is a version of a quote by the great Voltaire.